down in the dumpsterz

it's been obscenely long since i've posted anything on here, and the truth is that i've been pretty wildly unhappy. the cold weather crept in and brought with it dazzling blue skies and loneliness for Eileen. the novelty of a new place and a new people and new words has worn down to just a foreign place with well-intentioned people with whom i can never fully communicate and words that don't sound any less meaningless and confusing than they did three months ago. having Eddie here was perfect, but having my best friend around for two weeks - just long enough to feel how great it was - before he left was kind of wrenching. now i'm wrapping up a semester (only three more teaching weeks after this) with 24 classes that i am just starting to know, who might have learned two words from me the whole time because i've taught each class of 40+ students 2-4 times a month. the fact that i am now a college graduate with a temporary teaching job who has to face reality at some point is becoming more apparent, and the fear that comes with that is exacerbated by the painful nostalgia for my time in the student section of the classroom - a time i am terrified i will never get to experience again.

okay, so we've got culture shock, job dissatisfaction/feelings of pointlessness, and home/collegesickness. with all that whining done, let's move on, shall we?

there ARE some pretty exciting new things going on in my life right now, and there have been some happy moments recently as well, so i'm going to focus on the positive for a bit (geeeez Eileen, it's about time ms. negative nancy...)

the first bits of exciting news are:
1. i have been accepted to be a copy editor and possibly a photo editor for Fulbright Korea's magazine, Infusion!
2. i have been accepted to the Critical Language Enhancement Award intensive Korean class during the month of February (36 hours a week!! yikes!)

SO, i'm hoping working with words, writing, and editing with a collaborative staff will give me some intellectual food, and i'm positive that 130+ hours spent studying Korean will make the language slightly more familiar and navigable. hopefully these activities will help clear away some of my bad vibe cobwebs...

also, i have recently become part of a writers' blog among ETAs in Korea called Fulbright Ink. we respond to a prompt once a week and post critiques and discussion of each others' work on the page along with the assignments. it's only open to contributors to read, but i will certainly be posting the two pieces that i've written thus far as soon as i rework them a bit. it is really REALLY awesome to reset my mind back into the creative writing and editing process.

i'll be sponsoring a 13-year-old girl's Christmas gifts for the Korean Kids and Orphanage Outreach Mission's annual Christmas party, and i'm suuuuuuper excited to shop for that! i'm also thinking of digging into some volunteer work with Jillian to give myself something more productive to do. there are Habitat for Humanity projects going on in my city, and there's an animal shelter that i plan on visiting this weekend to get some quality furry friend time.

now switching to past tense...
i had a birthday, and it was bittersweet. the bitter came from missing my family and friends. the sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet came from the awesome 5 packages i got from said family and friends, the beautiful pre-birthday hike i took at gwangdeoksan with Korean and Korean-American (Phebe!) friends, and the WONDERFUL meal my host mom cooked for my birthday dinner party.
here are some pictures:

and last, i had a Thanksgiving meal with tons of ETAs and KAEC and Embassy people at Ambassador Kathleen Stephens' house last weekend. the food was AMAZING, and the ambassador was wonderfully welcoming and had inspiring and sharp stories to tell.

so overall, there have been ups and downs, and the downs have been rough and have kept me from having the steam to get on here and update. hopefully i can say "pssssshhhhh" to those downs from this point, live my life as suzy sunshine, and most importantly, post more often.

cheers to all of you around the world on this Thanksgiving Eve! sending holiday
love!

Eileen